I have spoken before on my blog about rest days, and about how sometimes they have to be taken even when I would much rather be productive. But often I will only have rest days when I reach a point where they are absolutely necessary, after I have become overloaded. Even though this might help to reverse the overload it means that I don’t have a great deal of control over when I rest, and when I am productive. So what I have been trying this week is resting the day before I know I have something to do, such as going out, in order to ensure I have enough energy to complete the activities. Even though I like to plan I have never been very good at planning in a way to ensure I was resting, and would have enough energy to do everything I want to do over the course of a week. I might push myself too far on a Friday, even when I began to feel tired, and therefore not have enough energy to go out on a Saturday.
This week I had planned to go out on Thursday to visit family. I knew that to get there I would need to use public transport, and it might be a relatively busy and noisy environment when I did arrive. To ensure that I had the energy to go and accomplish this I had Wednesday as a rest day. As strange as it sounds it was difficult to rest as I felt I should be doing something more productive and useful. And yet the next day I could feel the benefits. I felt much more able to go out and do what I needed to do than I would have done if I`d pushed myself on the Wednesday.
I needed to walk to a tram stop, travel on public transport and be in a really busy, noisy environment; interacting with people socially for an hour and a half before getting the tram, then walking back home. And while I did feel overloaded after this I know that if I had woken up on Thursday feeling overloaded there is no way I would have been able to get up and go out, or even attempt doing this journey.
So even though it was difficult having a rest day on the Wednesday I feel that it was worth it. When you enjoy working, then it can be hard taking the time out that you need to rest, especially if it is rest as a preventative measure.
But one thing that I am learning and understanding more and more as I grow older is my limits, and what I need to do to ensure that I stay within those. The reality is I can’t push myself to the point of overload every day, and not suffer badly from it. When I had to get up each day and go out to college or university, traveling on public transport and interacting with people for hours, I barely had the energy to do anything else. Even activities such as reading and watching films felt hard for me. And I need to remind myself at times that this isn’t because I am lazy. It is because I am autistic, and when I become overloaded it means that I have pushed myself too far. I am productive; I have a book coming out later this year, and I have edited and helped my Mum to publish her book earlier this month https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GO1N1X6
But there will be days when I simply sit around and do nothing. There might be more of these than there are for most people, and as strange as it might sound I think that is one of the hardest things about being autistic for me. I can`t work twelve hours a day, five days a week. My mind literally starts to shut down, and I do mean literally. It is as if a great fog closes in over my brain once I become overloaded. I find it hard to form coherent thoughts. I speak much less, my memory is severely affected, and I find it hard to hold a thought in my head for too long, or remember things. Physically my body begins to feel stiffer; it aches, and I feel as if I have just done an incredibly difficult workout. Basically when I am overloaded I am the last person you would want doing any kind of job for you. It seems bizarre, but taking time off enables me to be more productive, and to do better work. But if anything, I am the one who needs the most convincing of this …..
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And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!) http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762
And here`s the link to our new E Book Autism & Animals – the benefits of animals for autistic people https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GO1N1X6