I have been trying to do ASK-PERGERS? a bit over the last few days, and posted a blog a few days ago, but before that I had not done any work or even logged on to ASK-PERGERS? for about a week. I run ASK-PERGERS? with my Mum so you might have seen a few things being tweeted out by her in that time, but I was not on at all. And it was not a planned break; I just ended up not going on, and not working on my writing for a week. So why was this?
The whole point of ASK-PERGERS? is that I talk and write about autism; I write about the positives of it and what I enjoy about being autistic, but also the negative side and those things that I find hard. If you have a blog and you want to grow it you need to post regularly, the same if you want to improve your social media presence. I want to grow both the blog and our following on social media – and it’s not that I plan on making a lot of money by doing this, that’s not how it works – but of course I want to connect with more people, and get my writing out there as much as I can. Like I say to do that you need to be putting some work in most, if not every, day and yet by the very nature of being autistic that’s not always easy to do. When I am stressed, overloaded or struggling to be able to do anything due to lack of routine, or underlying worries it can be hard to find the energy to even log on to social media, and find things to share. Or my mind is just so overloaded that I don’t even think to do anything on ASK-PERGERS? The week I had away from my writing work recently was a mix of those things. I have been finding it hard to make and stick to a routine. I was trying one, as I put in another blog, but due to some underlying issues it’s been hard to stick to. That has been throwing me off, and meaning that for quite a while I was getting up unsure of what to do; feeling stressed and overloaded with nothing to bring me down from that. Because I did not have a routine I found myself going to bed a lot later each night. I have found if I don’t have plans for the next morning I will just stay up until I feel so tired I have to sleep. But I don’t sleep in much in the mornings so this leads to me being much more tired the next day, which in turn makes it harder to plan the day out, and stick to that plan. For a lot of the time doing ASK-PERGERS? just did not come in to my head, and when it did I was so tired and overloaded that I just did not find myself wanting to do it, and would put it off and forget about it again.
I don’t want to make a big deal out of the fact that I did not go on social media for a week; I know that it’s fine, and I can just pick up from where I left off, and that’s what I have been doing. But I just wanted to call some attention to the fact that sometimes even things that seem small, like going on to Twitter to work, can feel so overwhelming that they end up being left for days on end. And no matter how important something is to you, sometimes overload and stress make it almost impossible to do.
As I say I did not plan to take a week off; in fact most days I thought that I had better do some work on ASK-PERGERS? but it just never happened. In itself it’s not a big deal, but it is a good example of how things can slip away. Once something starts to feel stressful, or I start to feel too overloaded to do it then it can easily run in to weeks before I am able to get on with it again. It’s a strange thing that the very nature of what I am writing about can make my writing, and work on social media, hard, but that’s how it is. But then again it works the other way around too; of course now I have gone from finding it hard to write, and do work on social media to writing about finding it hard and posting that to my blog. Not doing ASK-PERGERS? for a week is just one example of how things can drift away and get left if I feel overloaded, or do not find a way to work them in to my routine. If I have a good routine or plan for the day, and know what I am doing and when and do not allow myself to get to the point of being too overloaded, then I can be quite productive day to day. But if things are not planned out well, or I am having a day where I am overloaded or overly-stressed then I can often end up doing nothing at all, not even the seemingly small, easy things that I enjoy and want to do.
PS: I wrote this blog last Monday and yet I am only just getting around to editing and posting it now. But it is still as true now as it was when I first wrote it. I ended up taking another break from social media for around six days due to a mix of the same reasons talked about above. I think the fact that it took me so long to be able to work on this blog again, or even think about it after it was written, just helps to back-up what I say in it.
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