Once again I am late with my A word blog, but I caught up on episode five today. Below are some of my thoughts on the penultimate episode of the show.
Joe out walking, again!: Yes this is something I say every week, but the more times I see it the more times I feel it is worthy of comment! A five year old boy should not be walking down a road on his own. But more importantly than that I feel it’s just bad writing. Joe`s Mum and Dad are set up to be worried about him. They fear for his safety. They don’t let him take risks. At least for fifty eight minutes of each episode they don’t. The opening shots just undermine all the writing that was done building them up as characters. They just wake up, and don’t worry about where their five year old son is, and just wait for someone to bring him back. Now no five year old should be allowed to do this, but it is true some vulnerable autistic people do get out of the house and walk off. And it’s a big issue. People die from doing this; in some cases young autistic people walk off, and are never heard from again. Nothing else Joe does is that bad; it’s as if his parents want to change the things that impact how people might view him, but not the things that might impact on his life. That might be OK, and the show might be set up to be a tragedy where they spend so long trying to change the things that make Joe who he is, and ignoring the huge life-threatening issue that he ends up being hit by a car. But again that’s just bad writing; someone would say something about a five year old walking down the road by themselves – if not anyone else at least the police officer who picked him up.
Maya getting deported: Maya getting deported does two things in the show: One, it opens up a whole new argument about how to deal with that situation, and what the best thing for Joe is. And two, it looks like it sets up Joe going missing in the final episode, with no one to find him when he walks off. It’s clear that Joe likes Maya, and she seems to communicate with him in a way that he understands, through music. She does not try and make him do the things he can’t do, but instead she works with him on the things he can do. Also introducing your kids, autistic or not, to Motorhead at a young age is just good parenting.
Alison needs to be in control of everything, and can’t be told no: Just look at how episode 5 starts. Her son is brought back to her in a police car. Her reaction? To have a go at the police officer who brought her son back. She then pushes Joe on to her sister-in-law despite the sister- in-law needing to get to work. And then later on she tries to bribe a police offer to let Maya stay, and seems genuinely offended when he tells her no. For me this is not good parenting. Good parenting is finding out what your autistic child wants, and doing what you can to help them get it. But not to the point of breaking the law, or manipulating and bullying other members of your family. Most of what she does seems to be more about her wanting to get her own way. Just think about the photos. It’s not that Joe at any point seems like he wants to look at them, but cant. It’s just that she thinks he should be doing it. She is, as has been hinted at in the show, a bully. She seems to be using Joe as a smoke screen to control those around her, and get her own way. In truth I am not even sure that she realises that’s what she is doing. When the police officer brings her son back – a son who was walking down a road on his own, and was then found by the officer in a car with two men who were not related to him – he also brings her bad news. So instead of thanking him for doing her job, and keeping her son safe, she puts him down and bullies him, making out he is somehow in the wrong. Then again when she fails to bribe the other officer, she does the same. She is too embarrassed to admit Joe is autistic, and yet she tries to make out as if the police offer is the one in the wrong for not taking a bribe. Over all it`s not that I think she is badly written, I just think she is written not to be the hero of the story, but to be in a way the villain of the piece. She is not nice to the rest of her family. She does not take Joes needs in to account, but instead looks at her own needs, and how to change him to suit them. She bullies, lies, and manipulates those around her, and hides behind her son`s autism to get away with it. Good character, bad person.
Overload: It`s clear Joe is overloaded by everything that’s going on. I think this was dealt with OK in parts, but he seemed to get over his overload quite fast. Holding his hands over his ears in the school was well acted, and not a wholly untrue representation of what an overload is like. I have to say that as things like emotional and sensory overload affect everyone in different ways there was nothing hugely wrong about the parts where Joe was overloaded, but I don’t think anyone comes down from an overload that fast. What do you think? Did it ring true for you, or not?
They need to talk about change in the right way: So Maya is leaving, and Joe`s Mum wants him to say he understands, and talk about his feelings while looking her in the eyes, and his Dad wants to pretend it’s not happening. Neither of those are good ideas. It needs to be talked about a lot. Perhaps things need to be written down for Joe; things such as how life around the home will change when Maya leaves. There is no need for him to look in his Mum`s eyes as she does this. It’s OK if he does not talk a lot, or even at all as it`s clear that he is able to understand most of what is said to him. Now if this had happened in the first episode I could understand neither of the parents having a clue how to deal with it, but look at all the reading the Mum has been doing about autism. I am sure some of that would have talked about how big changes can impact on someone with autism, and how they need to be dealt with. And also about how it’s not OK to force your kids to make eye contact with you!
A normal baby: One part of the show that some people might take issue with is when the Dad says that he wants to have a normal child. Now this is clearly not a nice thing to say, but I can understand why it might be in the show. I am sure there have been a few parents over the years who have said something like that, and later regretted it. Like I say, I have no sympathy for people who feel that way, but I can understand why it is something that would be written in to a show.
Joe missing? So it looks like in the final episode Joe will go off walking by himself, and get lost. What a shock. Let’s see what happens, but to tell the truth so far it feels like a very lazy, badly written set up. Which is a shame because I had high hopes for the show at the start.
So over all what do I think? Well the truth is I don’t know. I don’t mind the fact that the show is about people who in my view are poor parents, who don’t get autism, as long as it leads to something. People make mistakes, and I understand this, but I feel it is more than that. I would like the series to end by showing how misguided, and wrong the parent’s view of Joe’s autism is. Some of the writing has been poor, but overall I don’t think the show is bad. It would be fairer to say it’s getting more and more frustrating each week. What do you think?
What do you think? Let me know in the comments.
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