Tag Archives: publish

My new book and why I wrote it.

I have a new book coming out on the twenty first of this month. It is called Communicating better with People on the Autism Spectrum – 35 things you need to know. This is a pretty self-explanatory title. In the book I list 35 things that I think it is essential for autism professionals to know when they are communicating with autistic people. I wanted to talk a little bit in this blog about where the idea came from, and why I thought it was important to write.

Throughout my life I have had quite a few dealings with professionals. Some of these have been great. They have been essential even to helping me overcome problems, and get the best out of my autism. But increasingly, as I have grown older, I have become more and more frustrated when meeting with so- called autism professionals. I have been faced with a baffling lack of knowledge, concerning even the most basic aspects of autism. I have been in meetings that have run for almost three hours, and over-all been left with a feeling of frustration, disappointment and confusion at the conclusion of these meetings. As I could feel myself getting increasingly angry about these issues I decided to write something to channel that anger and frustration in a way that might be constructive, so I wrote an article for the Guardian to put out in a health and social care blog. The idea being that professionals would read this article and realise some of the things that they could do, or could avoid doing, in order to make life better for people with autism. I wrote two related articles which did well, and received several thousand shares. It also led to me being contacted by my publisher via twitter with a request to write a book that would be an expansion of the article. I was more than happy to do so because to tell the truth I had a lot more that I felt I needed to say on the subject.

When I sat down to write the book I didn’t want to write something that was merely going to criticise professionals, and tell them how bad they are at their jobs. I wanted to write something that could be read by people who are good at what they do, but who understand that as people they may not think of everything, and there is always something to learn; professionals with enough experience to know that they can’t look at things with an autistic mind, and that it is OK to take advice from someone who can. But more than this I wanted to write something that if it got in to the right hands would mean that less autistic people would be left with those feelings of anger,confusion and frustration that I experienced after some of my more unsuccessful meetings with professionals. Because that is the thing, the professional who presided over the three hour meeting for example, was not a bad person. They were newly qualified and probably didn’t understand that I had refused a break an hour in as I assumed it would be a ninety minute meeting as originally planned. Unfortunately the meeting ran over by a significant amount of time. I wasn’t offered another break and there was an incredibly noisy event going on just outside the office in which my meeting was taking place. It was one of the hottest days of the year and I wasn’t offered a drink as the meeting progressed. What makes this even worse is that my Mum had contacted them before we went and requested that I be seen by someone with a good understanding of autism. The meeting itself was shambolic. But my point is that this wasn’t due to the professional themself being vindictive or nasty, it was due to them not understanding. They made mistakes the same as any newly qualified professional would do. It is just that in this kind of job when you make a mistake it is the autistic person who ends up suffering.

So in short, I decided to write this book to help professionals and autistic people. I would like to think that even the best professional can get something from the book, and this might in some way help other autistic people in the future.

If you need any more help or advice about Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

And here`s the link to our new E Book Autism & Animals – the benefits of animals for autistic people https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GO1N1X6

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Autism & Animals Book – and why writing such a positive book has been so hard for me …

Today, June 16th ASK-PERGERS? new book, Autism & Animals – the benefits of animals for autistic people, will be published as an E Book.  We are looking forward to the book being published and hoping that lots of people read it, and enjoy it.  The book takes a positive look at the relationships that often form between autistic people and animals, and the benefits this can have on things such as confidence and self-esteem, understanding and expressing emotions, and on our general sense of well-being.

The process has been quite stressful, partly because although we have two books published already, and Paddy-Joe has a book coming out very soon of his own, all of these have been published through a professional publisher, and so the Autism and Animals book is our first attempt at self-publishing, and it wasn`t as straight-forward as we`d hoped!  In fact we have really struggled to get printed copies, and have settled for the electronic version for now to prevent further delay in publishing.

However, these difficulties are not what has made the writing and publishing of this positive book so hard, and so stressful for me.  I don`t want to go in to too much detail, but the past year or so has been the absolute worse time of my life.  Both Paddy-Joe and I have been through some really horrendous experiences – the death of one family member who we loved more than it is possible to say, the near death of a close and equally loved family member, who remains on palliative care.  An investigation in to the death (I can`t say any more about that) and another family issue that has been extremely stressful to the point of making my son and myself very ill.  All of the above has meant time away from my autistic son for me, and a complete disruption to his routine.  This, along with anxiety and grief have caused him to have increasingly explosive meltdowns on most days.  I really can`t describe how scary they have been for both of us, leaving us with chest pains, dizziness, and an extremely low mood.   There has been more, so much more, too much to write here, and too personal for social media.  We are both exhausted, and completely burned out.  For over a year now I have felt unable to work on ASK-PERGERS? and have left most of the work up to Paddy-Joe.  I am trying to rectify this, but still most days my depression is such that I am unable to interact, even on social media.   My son isn`t feeling much better, but he has done his best to continue with our autism information and advice service through Facebook and Twitter.

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So why did we press-on with completing the Autism & Animals book (which I came so close to scrapping so many times)?  It is partly because we didn’t want to let anyone down.  Lots of individuals and families contributed their stories and experiences to the book.  We had already started writing the book before our lives were turned upside down, and we had to keep postponing completion of the book, and then postpone publishing due to our personal circumstances, and the way we were feeling.  However, my son encouraged me to continue with the book, and we worked together on it as often as possible.  With weeks on end spent at the hospital, often awake all night and all the following day, no proper food or rest it was extremely difficult.  And when I was at home with my son he was so agitated by everything that has happened and so overwhelmed that the meltdowns were (are!) coming thick and fast, and each one completely wiped us out.  However, my son kept reminding me that we had made a commitment to the people who had contributed to the book, and they were all so kind and patient, that we pushed on, and finally the book was ready to be published! We also wanted to publish while our dogs – Fred and Poppy, the inspirations behind the book – are still with us as they are quite old now, and have a few health problems.

Our lives remain extremely difficult at the moment, although not as chaotic and distressing as they have been over the past year and a half.  We are trying to get back to some sort of normality, but this is hard as many of the issues are still on-going.

I am so glad we didn`t give up, and now have a lovely book to share with you all J

The book is dedicated to my parents, and published on June 16th as it would have been their 63rd wedding anniversary, if they were both still here to celebrate.

The book is a testament to the loyalty, intuition and strength of animals.  And shows just how beneficial they can be for some autistic people.

And here`s the link for anyone who may be interested J

The book is called Autism & Animals – the benefits of animals for autistic people – and is priced at £4.99.  And I can`t believe it is finished at last!!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GO1N1X6

Jane Donlan x

If you need any more help or advice about Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762