Tag Archives: write

Writing aims for 2018.

Last year was a bad year for me writing-wise. I put up at least two blogs where I talked about what a strange year it was, and how little I had got done so I wont go over that too much here. I just want to write a bit about what my aims for 2018 are, and why it matters for me to get back in to my writing.

First of all blog-wise I want to put out at least one blog per week. I am already on track with that with this blog, and the one I have already posted this year. Of course keeping that up for a full year is a bigger task, but that’s why I want to write blogs in advance, and plan out when I am going to be putting them up instead of just writing them when ideas come in to my mind. It’s also why I am open to ideas relating to what you might want to see me write about on here this year. If you have any ideas feel free to comment below, or get in touch via Facebook or Twitter. Last year I did write a bit on why blogging was important to me, how it helps me get my ideas out there without having to worry about them meeting somebody else’s standards. And I do feel that is one of the great things about blogs; autistic people can put our ideas and advice out there for each other (and non- autistic people wishing to learn more) to read and learn from. Sometimes if I am having a hard day just coming a across a blog that puts in to words something I have been dealing with can be a huge help, and I know from comments left on my blogs that my writing can also have that effect. I enjoy putting up blogs, and I also like the fact that at times what I write can help other people.

When it comes to books that’s a bit more open. I know I would like to write at least one book relating to autism in some way in 2018, but I am not quite sure what that will be. There is a lot around that subject that interests me so it’s a case of working out what I feel able to talk about and what I want to talk about first, and getting something together. That being said I would also like to do more work on my non-autism related books this year – as some of you know I do write horror/crime books, and I would like to make sure I put the time in to edit the draft of the work I have already done, and write the first draft for another book.

That’s really it when it comes to writing goals for the year, but the main point underlying it all is I want to get back to enjoying writing, and thinking of myself as a writer. Being a writer should be the easiest thing in the world – all you have to do after all is sit down and type. I am not talking about getting to the stage of being a published author or even being a good writer to the point where other would enjoy your work, I am just talking about being a writer. If you write regularly and finish your projects (it does not count if you leave everything half way through!) then you’re a writer. Odd then that there are such a lot of people out there saying they wish they could be writers. Perhaps what they mean is they wish they could be published because as I say to be a writer all you have to do is decide to write, and get on with it. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of that though, easy to drift off and leave weeks between spells of writing, to fall in to that trap of waiting for the right moment to write, and that’s when you stop thinking of yourself as a writer and start thinking of yourself as someone who would love to be able to write. I feel like 2017 was like that for me; I did not write anywhere near enough to call myself a writer last year, and I want 2018 to be different.

I do not normally care much for New Year’s resolutions, but there is something to be said for looking back on the past year and seeing if it was well spent. If not then when you turn to look at the next twelve months stretching ahead you have to think to yourself “How can I make sure when I am looking back on 2018 I am going to feel it was worth while?”

For me a year full of writing would be a huge step in the right direction in terms of what I want to go on to achieve in my life, and as I say when you bring it down to its most simple form nothing should be more easy to stick to than doing more writing.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

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The transition in to January: Why it can be so hard and what can help with it.

I have written quite a bit about how hard Christmas and New Year can be for autistic people, but it’s also worth saying how hard January can be. December is full of change and we all know how hard that can be, but by the time you have started to get used to it, it all changes back again. What you eat, what time you go to bed, your routine, the decorations everything goes back to normal pretty quickly. Because it’s going back to normal it might not seem like as big a change, but it is, and it can in fact be even worse. At least with Christmas you get time off or nice food – the change might be hard, but for a lot of people it at least comes with positives. But January is an almost universally hated month to begin with; nothing much happens in it for most people, the fun of the holidays is over, and everything changes back to normal within a day or two.

For autistic people there is also the fact that January can be spent dealing with the build-up of sensory overload that can come with Christmas. It’s not uncommon for a meltdown to occur days, or even weeks after the event that trigged it. There have been times where I have become overloaded due to going out, but have seemed to be doing quite well for three or four days after only to have a meltdown the next week. In December you have a month full of change and things that can lead to a build-up of overload, and the knock-on effect of that can be felt well in to January.

So when you put those things together you have a month that can be pretty dull and grim anyway, starts with a big change all of its own, and is more than likely still being impacted by the events of December.

What can you do about this?

The first and most important thing is just to be aware of it. That might sound strange or not specific enough, but it is extremely easy to forget all about how hard January can be. December is over and that is the month that draws attention to itself; the changes are very clear, and it’s easy to see what impact they might have. But everything changes back so fast it’s easy to forget how long that impact can last, and also to forget that the change back to normal life is a huge change all on its own. Add that to the fact that the year is literally changing, and you can see why you should be aware of how hard January can be, but also why it often gets forgotten about. Just being aware of the issues that might arise will help. If you’re feeling overloaded or stressed-out remember why that might be, and perhaps be on the look-out for signs of a meltdown, or just keep in mind that just because the year changes the build-up of overload will not go away.

Another idea might be writing down how things will change, and if these changes will be good or bad. This is something worth doing at the start of December too, and it might be that you do it all in one go – talking about how things will change for Christmas and New Year, and how they will change back. Or you might do another chart for January talking about how things will change back, how this makes you feel and what the impact will be, for example less time around the house, different food, and the fact that that might make you feel more stressed or overloaded. (If you want to find out more about our strategies for dealing with transition check out our book on the topic https://www.jkp.com/uk/helping-children-with-autism-spectrum-conditions-through-everyday-transitions.html )

If you can you might also ease yourself back in to things slowly. So plan things out: What day are you taking your decorations down? When are you going to change your diet? Perhaps don’t plan one day to switch everything back, spread it out over the first week or so of the year so that it is not so overwhelming. If you have work or school then you will have a set day you need to be back at that, but perhaps don’t change everything on that date. So you could take you decorations down the day before or the day after so that the change does not happen all at once.

It might also be worth planning a few nice things to do in January. It’s a month most people dislike and it can be made better by having something positive in it. This will not work for everyone as making plans to do things outside the norm can sometimes just create more stress and change. For me a positive plan might be to try and get out for a few walks in the park. So nothing with any real social interaction or travelling, just something to help ease the tension in a house containing two overloaded, autistic people!

It might be that your plans are small and specific like mine, or it might be than having a few bigger plans works for you. Nothing will work for everyone, and everyone is different so just find what works for you and stick with it.

December and January can be hard months – fun at times, but also hard – and one key thing that you have to bear in mind is some, not all but some, of the change you can opt out of. You don’t have any control over school, college being closed, but perhaps if there are shifts on at work you could take them. You can’t stop everyone else putting up Christmas decorations, going out or having a party for New Years, but you don’t have to make a fuss about any of it. You don’t have to change what you eat, what time you go to bed, you don’t have to stay up till midnight, and if you work from home you don’t have to stop working or change your routine over the holidays. I am not suggesting that you don’t get in to the holiday spirit as lots of autistic people (like myself) love doing so even if it comes with some challenges. But what I am saying is that for some people not making those changes, and therefore having less to change back in January, might make this time of year a bit easier. And if that’s the case then my point is that you should do what works best for you regardless of any pressure from family, or society as a whole. That might be more of a tip for the coming December, but I just thought it was worth putting in.

With all that being said I don’t want to sound like I am being wholly negative about this time of year. It can be nice to start a new year and look forward to the year ahead. It’s just that I know from my own experience that it can also be a hard time of year. Hopefully you all had a good Christmas and New Year, and January is not proving to be too difficult for you.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

Why I have not been writing.

As you might have noticed I have not been blogging much over the last few months. I did write a post about this a while ago talking about why I had not been writing, how low my mood was and saying I was going to try my best to get back in to writing and blogging, but as you can see things have not quite gone to plan. There is no point going over those issues again too much, but I thought it worth addressing as I am trying once more to start blogging.

As you will know if you have been keeping up to date with my blog I have been finding it hard to write, or in fact hard to do much of anything for quite a while now. This has been due to a mix of overload, depression and family issues. Back in August when I first wrote about these issues I did mean to start blogging again, once a week if I was able, but it did not work out that way. I have been finding it hard to get rid of my overload, and have been overloaded almost constantly, to the point of not being able to do anything. I will write about this as an issue on its own as it’s still on-going, and there is quite a lot to be said about it. But I am sure you can understand that if I am so overloaded I cannot even think straight, or sit down to relax, that writing,editing and posting a blog has been beyond me for quite sometime.

It is something of a vicious circle as not being able to write has only added to my low mood. For years I was sure that I wanted to be a writer, that writing was something I enjoyed and would always want to do. But when my mood dipped, and I was so overloaded I could not even think about trying to write without feeling worn-out, and fuzzy-headed, some of that belief started to leave me. It’s hard to make a living out of writing. I don’t do that now and I never have done, but my hope has always been to one day be able to make enough money from my writing to live off. Even though that’s hard when you are getting up early every morning and writing two thousand words a day, posting blogs every week, editing one novel while writing another, and having articles published in newspapers and magazines, it is easier to imagine. When you get to the point where you are hardly writing, you are not posting your work, and you are not even thinking of good ideas – or if you do think of an idea you do nothing with it – then it becomes harder and harder to think that you will ever make a living off it.

When I decided not to go back to university it was so that I would have more time to write. At the time it was a good idea; after all, I wanted to be a writer so what was the point in using the time I could be writing to do something else? But then when I became unable to write confusion set in; if I was not using this time to write had I made the right call? I had made a choice, uni or work, and I had chosen work only to find I was not doing either! Now on a logical level I can say to myself that knowing the way I have been feeling the past year or so that university would not have worked for me. As I say I have been too overloaded and depressed to even pick up a book or watch a film a lot of days, let alone go to university. So whatever I had chosen I would not have ended up doing due to my mood.

But even so doubt starts to set in. The more I think about it every job I would want to do involves writing, and I have been writing in some form or another since I was six years old. I have a book published, have co-written two other published books, and have written over one hundred articles so most of my life – certainly any part of it involving work – has been centred around writing, and being a writer. So when I suddenly stop being able to write what am I meant to put in its place? What am I meant to work on? To aim for? It puts me in a place of uncertainty, and casts doubt on plans I have been working on for years. And we all know that change and uncertainty are not good for autistic people. That’s not the only impact – writing is like everything else; if you want to be good at it you have to work at it and do so often. You can not just write once every few months, and expect what you write to be good. Even looking at my writing here I can tell it’s not my best. That being said I do not judge myself too much on my writing in blogs. I feel they are less formal and I tend to worry less about the style of my writing. But the point still stands – if you want to be good at something, at anything, you have to do it as much as you can. Taking breaks for months at a time is never going to have a good impact on your writing skills.

So I can’t write because of my low mood and the less I write the worse I feel.

I have been working on lifting my mood and cutting down on my overload quite a bit over the past few weeks, and I will write more about how I have been doing that, and how it has been helping. You can see of course that what I have been trying has been working somewhat as I am writing this now. Although it is only one blog that in some ways is just going over issues I have already blogged about, or setting up blogs I plan on writing, but have not written yet, I am still glad that I was able to sit here and type it out. It might not be a lot when compared to what I used to do, but compared to what I have been doing most days for, well for most of this year, which is absolutely nothing, it is a lot. But how ever much it is I am just happy I have been able to write something, and I plan on keeping it going. My aim now is to write something, even if it’s only a few lines every day, from now until the end of the year, and then take stock in the New Year and see where I go from there. Things are still hard in lots of ways, but I feel more upbeat about them now than I have done for the last few months.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

100 BLOGS!

I recently posted my 100th blog on ASK-PERGERS. I am writing this after the fact so it should be around post number 102 now. There is not a massive amount to say about this, but I wanted to make some acknowledgement of the milestone. A lot of hours of writing and editing have gone in to getting to one hundred posts, and I am glad that I have been able to stick with it and keep thinking of things to write about. I have been giving some thought lately to why I started the blog, and if I feel it is accomplishing what I wanted it to when I started out. So why did I start the blog?

  1. I wanted somewhere I could write what I wanted to write without having to pitch the idea to someone, or have an editor change it. It’s not that writing for other people is bad, it’s just nice to have a place where I can put down my ideas without having to run them past someone who can reject them. People might not read what I write, or they might not care about it, but there is nothing and no one stopping me from writing it. It would be kind of hard not to accomplish this as that is the very nature of a blog, so just by using my blog and writing with freedom, I am accomplishing this goal.

  2. I wanted to help educate people about autism. I can’t speak for all autistic people, and I don’t claim to be able to, but I do hold the firm belief that autistic people are the best experts on autism, and we are the ones who should be listened to by those wishing to learn more about autism. Have I been able to educate people? The feedback I have received leads me to think that I have. Parents often tell me that they feel they understand more about their autistic child after reading one of my blogs. This is great on two levels; one, it makes me feel good about what I am writing, but also it means that parents are listening to me as an autistic person, and realising that the best way to understand autistic people is just to listen to us when we explain something.

  3. I wanted to see how much other autistic people would be able to identify with what I was writing about. Often when I read other blogs or tweets, or even look at memes made by autistic people, I can instantly identify with what they are saying. They might be saying something that I have never heard anyone else say before, that I realise applies to me. I learn more about myself and about autism from reading the writings and tweets of fellow autistic people than I do reading any books written by so-called experts on the subject. I read something another autistic person has put out there, and realise they have given words to something I have always felt but have never been able to sum-up. So part of me wanting to write about autism – and especially any of the blogs that relate to my personal life/feelings – was in the hopes of being able to do that for someone else. Have I managed to do that? Once again by looking at the feedback I have had over the years I can say yes. Often when I post one of the more personal blogs I will have autistic people reply to me and tell me they are happy I wrote it, and that I summed it up perfectly. This works two ways; I get to write down something that I find hard, or write about something that impacts my life without knowing if anyone else out there is going to feel the same, and put it out there, and someone else gets to find it, and we both get to recognize that there are others out there who feel the same as we do.

Those are the key aims I had when I started to blog, and as you can see I feel that each one of them has been a success. There have been other benefits of blogging too of course: I have met and talked to a lot of new people, got better as a writer, and also found that when writing is hard I can often still get some done by working on a blog rather than having everything be a big project like a novel. But those are the three main reasons I started blogging, and I feel that with those three being accomplished – as well as all the other benefits – blogging has been well-worth starting, and is definitely something I want to keep working at. At times it can be hard to think what to say; I feel that I need to make some important point in each blog or educate people all the time, but the truth is it all goes back to that first point – if it’s your blog you can put anything you like in it, and that is what is so good about blogging.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

Autism and issues with my routine ….

Last week I wrote a blog about my new routine and how it has been helping me get more done, and feel better about myself, and while that’s true it would be misleading to leave it at that, and not talk a bit about some of the things that can, and have gone wrong with it. These are things that have gone wrong this time, but could also go wrong with any routine; so they are not issues with the routine itself, instead they are things that happen that impact on if, and how I can stick to my routine.

Sometimes it`s hard to establish a routine: What I mean by this is that for me if you do something a few days a week it`s not really a weekly routine. So when I plan out what I will be doing on each day of the week (planning to do the same thing each day) and then have to say “ Well not on Wednesday because I have to go out, and not on Friday because I have to go out then too.” It feels like I am not taking the time to get myself set in a new routine. Of course life throws up things you need to do, and I would not be able to stick to the same plan every day of my life, but if I can`t even stick to it for the first week how am I meant to feel like it`s a daily routine? If I only do it a few days each week it`s hardly a routine. The best thing would have been to clear a week, and do my routine each day so that I was in the swing of it then start to change it as, and when it was needed to fit in the other things life throws up. This way I would have been set in my routine, and more able to get back to it if it had to be changed one day.

Missing one part of it can mess up the whole day: If I say I am going to be up at six, work out and start my work by eight, and in fact I do not get up till seven then that can throw my whole day off. Why? You might be asking. I am at home all day after all, so what if I do the same things just an hour or two later than I was planning? And it`s a good point – that would be the smart thing to do. But sometimes it is not as easy as all that. Often I will try to get back on track after something has not gone to plan, and just find myself unable to do so. Try as I might the days where things go wrong early on hardly ever end up going well. If I am going to make a routine work I need to stick to it fully. Something as small as getting up a bit late can throw me off track for the whole day. Perhaps planning to get up as early as I do is the issue? I like to be up early and enjoy working in the mornings, but if I do have the whole day to work with perhaps I am less likely to fail to get up if I plan to get up a bit later? Or perhaps I just need to make sure I get to bed at a better time so I am less tired in the mornings? Either way that issue can be dealt with, but the point is that anything that goes wrong can mess up the whole routine for any given day.

Not having a plan B: Sometimes things will happen that you just can`t control, for example I get hay fever and sometimes it`s pretty bad. Some days it`s normal; just a blocked nose and a bit of sneezing – nothing too bad. Nothing I cant work through. But every now and then I wake up and it`s bad; I am sneezing every few seconds, my head hurts, and I am sweating and burning up. I feel dizzy, and at times like this there is just no point trying to work. It does not happen often, and only ever lasts a day at a time, but when it does it messes up my plans. I spoke about how I need to plan my rest time too in my last blog, or I end up doing nothing, and this ties-in with that. If I find myself waking up unable to do my routine I am often unsure of what to do. Do I try and do it? Do I admit that I can`t and do something else? What else is there to do? If I had a plan B, a back-up plan to be used on days when I can`t stick to my routine this would not be an issue. The plan could be something as simple as “Watch a few episodes of a certain TV show”. That might not sound like much, but when I am overloaded or feeling the impact of a sudden change of routine it`s very hard for me to find something to do. This is in part due to the fact that I don’t want to do anything, and just can`t get exited about doing things when I feel that way. Therefore, if I were to think about watching a T.V. show on the day I would not want to do it, but if it was pre-planned “If I am unable to do my routine I will watch this show” the chances of me forcing myself to do it (and enjoying it) are much higher. This cuts down on the risk of me just sitting around feeling overloaded after a change to my routine.

Having too much free time: Free time is good, and for me it is needed; I don’t like working to a routine where every minute of the day is planned beforehand (some people do, and it`s just a case of what works for you). But I found that I was working until 12 and then the next thing I had planned was to read at nine at night. This meant I had a lot of time to fill. It`s not to say I did not spend any of that time well: I got films watched, I read and I did work around the house, but I do think perhaps giving myself so much free time in the end was not helpful. I could have half that time, and still have a lot of time to relax and do whatever I want to do. Again how much time is planned, and how much is set in the routine will depend on the person, so to a point I am just trying things out to find out what works for me.

So overall I would say my new routine is a good one; it has helped me somewhat, and has definitely made me feel better on the days when it has worked, but it`s far from perfect yet. But that’s OK, as I said it`s about trying things out, seeing what works, what helps and what makes things worse, and coming up with a plan that helps me to get more done and feel better. That takes time and there might be a whole load more things to learn before we get there, but as long as we get there in the end that’s the main thing. And even in the mean-time having some kind of routine, some basic plan for at least parts of my day is helping me do more than I would if I had nothing at all. Things might not have worked out right away, but they hardly ever do and a good routine is something that’s worth taking the time to get right.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

How the media is shaping public perceptions of autism for the worse.

I was planning to write a few more specific response blogs to some of the stories that have been doing the rounds on Twitter over the past few days, but I just don’t have the inclination to sit down and give each story so much time. If you`re not sure what I am talking about let me explain.

First of all we had the autism/radicalisation story in the Daily Mail; a story which implied that autistic people are more likely to become terrorists, and I did take the time to write a full response to this one. Then over the weekend I came across another story, this time linking autism to screen time. In this article a professor of neurology talks about two studies which he claims show a link between screen time and autism. The idea being that some children can develop a type of autism from spending lot of time on Ipads or laptops, and if parents take those away and play with the children more then the autism will go away. A ridiculous story that harks back to the days of the refrigerator Mother, and once again a story written by a professional, based on work by other professionals, that has angered and offended the autistic community.

Then there was a story by writer Kathy Lette, again in the Daily Mail, in which she talks about feeling the need to hire a sex worker for her autistic son as he felt he would never be able to get a girlfriend on his own. As a lot of people on Twitter have already said, it`s not the idea of using a sex worker that’s the problem. It`s the fact there is nothing in the article to suggest that Lette talked to her son about the idea, not even when she came close to picking a women up on the street. It reads as if her plan was just to pick the woman up, turn up and present the woman to her son. Not even going in to the fact that he might not have wanted sex then, or with that particular women, there is the issue of planning. Doing anything that is not planned for, or part of the routine can be hard for autistic people. But something like this should never be sprung on anyone, least of all some one with autism. There is also no input from her son in the piece, and not even a line to say that he is happy for her to write about him in this way. I fully understand that there is a limit on words in an article, and perhaps she did talk to her son both about her idea and about writing the article, but what’s angered a lot of autistic people on twitter is that neither of those things are in anyway clear. It reads as if the plan was hatched and nearly put in to action without him knowing at all. And while this point might have nothing to do with autism, there is also the fact that the writer seems to make no distinction between hiring an escort from an agency, and picking a women up off the streets. From what I understand women working for escort agencies are perhaps less vulnerable, and exploited than women who are forced to work the streets.

All of these articles drew a lot of reaction from the autistic community. There was anger of course, but the overriding feeling seemed to be one of frustration. How many more ridiculous stories about autism are there going to be? We live in a world where, based on one debunked lie from a disgraced former doctor, thousands of people believe that vaccines cause autism. A world where people can go on T.V. and claim to cure autism by changing children’s diets. A world in which some parents will buy and then feed their children bleach because some con-artist has sold it to them as a cure for autism. And not just a world where every school shooting is linked to autism, but now a world where professionals think it`s OK to go in a national news paper, and link terrorism with autism as well.

There are of course other issues: hate crime, so called mate-crime, benefits being slashed, lack of employment for autistic people, autistic people being locked up for years in institutions with no good cause, and there are stories in the media of parents killing their autistic children, and almost being given a free pass by the press due to the stress of `putting up with` their autistic child for so long. I could go on.

It might sound like I am being negative, but I am just stating the facts when I point out the issues that face the autistic community. It`s important to recognise what these issues are if we are ever going to do anything to deal with them, and bring about some changes. But sometimes it does feel overwhelming, and that’s where the frustration comes in. Autistic people want to do what we can to fight against the levels of ignorance in society, but when we see that ignorance floating down from the top levels of the professional world it can feel as if everything we are trying to do is being undone by those who claim they are trying to help us. And it`s not just professionals, it can be some parents too, like those who cling to the idea that vaccines cause autism.

I feel – and this may sound a bit self-serving, but I am not just talking about myself here – but I feel that reading the writings of autistic people is the best way to understand autism. I know when I read other autistic peoples` blogs or posts on twitter I lean more, and recognize more that I never realised or thought of, than I do reading any study or report. And yet it seems that for the most part it`s harder for autistic peoples` voices to break out of the autism community, and in to the mainstream than it is for parents and professionals.

What I mean by this is that autistic writers and bloggers talk a lot of sense, and yet it feels like our voices are mainly being heard by those already in the autistic community. This does not mean there are not some well-known autistic writers in the mainstream such as Temple Grandin, or that nothing autistic authors write gets picked up by the media. But I do think overall it is harder for us to get our voices heard. Where as a professional – and to a slightly lesser extent a parent – can have an idea and no matter how silly it is, or how detrimental to autistic people, it can and often will get mainstream press coverage. Leading to ideas such as autism being caused by vaccines, being cured by diet, or being linked to screen-time filling up peoples timelines, and becoming part of the casual view of autism held by those who are not autistic, and don’t know anyone who is. Whereas genuinely good, thoughtful, insightful, and helpful ways to deal with real-life issues facing autistic people are often stuck within blogs, or on message boards being viewed by only a small amount of people.

It feels as if what you have to say about autism matters more if you are someone who works with autistic people, or a parent of autistic children than if you are autistic yourself. This makes it harder to fight the other battles that need to be fought when those who are meant to be helping you hold so much more power than you do. Even more so when they use that imbalance of power to spread silly or dangerous ideas, and to add to myths and stereo-types around autism.

Often, all the responses to articles like the ones I talked about above will only be read and spoken about in the autistic community, whereas the articles themselves are out in the mainstream.

So what? You might think that as long as autistic voices are being heard by autistic people what’s the big deal?

Well it`s the mainstream that shapes the view of society as a whole, that gets read by the next generation of parents and professionals, and helps to shape their view of autism and autistic people. And I, for one, would rather have those views shaped by the writings and thoughts of autistic people themselves.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

Are autistic people at a greater risk of being radicalised?: My response.

A few days ago an article was published in the Daily Mail in which Clare Allely, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Salford, stated that she thought autistic people might be at more risk of being radicalised and explained why she thought that was. I will cover some of the points made in the piece and talk about why I disagree with the article itself, but it might be worth you having a read of it before or after reading what I have to say about it. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4633128/Autistic-people-risk-radicalised.html

Let’s start with the opening lines. First of all the article talks about people with `traits` of autism. Right from the start this is vague, and unhelpful language. If you know anything about autism then you know that you are either autistic or you are not. You can’t have people with `traits` of autism, but what you can have is people who act in a way that is stereotypically thought of as autistic. What I mean by this is people who would be classed as `loners`; those people who do not have a lot of friends and tend to spend most of their time on their own in their rooms. Yes some autistic people might be like that, but this in itself is not a sign of autism.

The article then goes on to explain what terrorism is, and that the last few years have seen a rise in so called `lone-wolf` attacks where an individual commits an act of violence due to being radicalised without necessarily being part of a wider group. It lists the types of terrorist, and then jumps in to explaining how being autistic can make you more likely to participate in terror activities. The aim being to “ ..illustrate how some of the symptoms of ASD can ‘help’ make a pathway towards being inspired to act on behalf of a terrorist cause, join a terrorist organisation, engage in directed attacks – or indeed carry out lone wolf terrorism.”


Now where to start with this? First off there are no `symptoms` of autism – autism is not a disease. This might sound like a small point in the wider scope of the article, but when as an autistic person you hear words like `traits` or `symptoms` being thrown around it’s hard for you to take anything else that is being said seriously.

Then we have the so-called `symptoms` themselves; the things that apparently make autistic people more likely to go out and murder innocent people. The article makes the point that autistic people can often be lonely and isolated and feel a need to belong, as well as having a tendency to hyper-focus, which if they focus on the wrong thing can lead to an obsession. Let’s break these down, starting with the last. Yes autistic people often, but not always do have a special interest or more than one, and often we do dedicate a lot of time to said interest. But why would taking an interest in something lead to a loss of feeling or a desire to kill? I know a lot of non-autistic people with a keen interest in serial killers: they know all the names, read books on them and watch hours upon hours of TV about them. But this in no way means they want to hurt anyone let alone kill them. It means they have an interest in a dark subject. Of course this is different from looking up terrorist videos online, but my point is – autistic or not – having an interest in people who do bad things does not mean a loss of all human feeling, or a desire to go out and replicate the things read about. Autistic people are making the point more and more that special interests can be, and often are a good thing, and most of the time if they are not positive per say, they at least are not negative. But too often they are still talked about by professionals as `obsessions` and treated like something that at best should be tolerated, but never embraced. Linking them to an interest in terrorism and acting as if they can be the first step on a path to murder is hardly helping autistic people fight the old and out-dated negative image of autism itself, and special interests in particular.

What about the issues of autistic people being lonely and isolated?

It is true that some autistic people can find themselves in this situation. I have spoken to, and know many autistic people who do most of their communicating via their computer as they find it hard to go out and interact with people face to face. I myself don’t go out and socialize much, and I never have.

I understand the underlying idea that if you find yourself alone, and not fitting in you can end up falling in with a `bad crowd` so to speak. You can end up changing yourself to fit in with the people around you, whether you’re autistic or not. But again making the jump from that to someone being willing to kill people, and then die themselves just to gain a bit of respect from someone on the internet seems a bit far-fetched to say the least.

In fact autistic people from what I have seen (and I don’t have statistics, I am just going off the hundreds of autistic people I have spoken to, or read about) seem much more likely to hurt themselves when they sink in to the depths of loneliness. Depression can set in and people can turn to self-medicating with drugs, drink or self harm as can non-autistic people. Again I am not saying this is the case for all autistic people, but it is much much more likely than someone planning to deal with their loneliness by committing murder.

The article has no weight to it whatsoever. It says that because autistic people can be lonely and need to fit in they are more likely to become terrorists, and yet all it offers us to back that up is two cases of autistic people becoming terrorists. I don’t for one second dispute the fact that there will be autistic terrorists as I feel that there are autistic people in every walk of life – both good and bad. But to make the headline-grabbing claim that autistic people are more likely to be radicalised is just foolish and lazy writing.

But it’s not just lazy.

To make the jump from saying some autistic people might be lonely and looking to fit in, to them being willing to go out and commit murder is a strange jump. I worry that the only real way to make such a jump is to accept the defunct idea that autistic people don’t feel empathy. This is an idea you still see pushed by professionals in some places despite it being outdated and wrong. Autistic people sometimes do find it hard to express how they feel, or even understand it themselves, but that’s not the same as not valuing human life, and being willing to take it. In fact lots of autistic people are overly emphatic, and are profoundly affected by what they see on the news. This might not always be visible, or even understood by the autistic person themselves (it might just come out in a sudden bad/low mood).

Autistic people have been fighting to get rid of the idea that we are unfeeling and cold-hearted for years, and saying that we are more likely than non-autistic people to become involved in terror is not helping that fight at all.

But it is nothing new; each time there is a school/college shooting in the USA what is one of the first things we hear? The shooter was `kind of a loner`, and then within hours that changes to `perhaps autistic?`. Why? Because he spent a lot of time alone and was `weird`, and apparently that’s all you need to be to be classed as autistic. It’s just something else that makes the killer `other`. In the shock people cast around for something, anything to help themselves make sense of the senseless violence. And they light upon the idea of autism. Autism is different. Not all children are like this so what are people meant to think when they hear that “ if your child’s class has an autistic kid in it, he is the most likely one here to start shooting”. That might not be what’s said, but if you hear autism talked about in the wake of each and every shooting it’s what people start to think. I know of one case where a mass shooter has been autistic (not saying there is just one, just that’s the one I know about) but I know of a lot more where autism has been talked about despite the killer being dead and undiagnosed.

Autism has nothing whatsoever to do with violence. And yet we keep hearing it spoken about as part of the motivation for killers. If we start hearing it talked about each time there is a terrorist attack, to where could this lead? At best it will lead to a more negative and fearful view of autism and autistic people – putting the public image of autism back years, and undoing a lot of the good work done by autistic people to promote a more positive, and realistic view of autism.

At worst it could lead to the public viewing autistic people as a danger, and autistic people suffering because of this. We have seen Muslims being attacked due to the idea promoted by some of the media that they are `all terrorists`, or `sympathise with terror`. It might seem like a jump to imagine the same thing happening to autistic people down the line, but there is already an idea in the media that we are dangerous due to the constant linking of autism and shootings. If the same starts to happen with terror attacks then given the current climate, and desire to place blame, it would not be wholly unlikely to see autistic people being shunned, or even attacked.

Also, without wanting to turn this in to a personal attack, I do find it worrying that the writer of this article teaches the next generation of psychologists. When you see a point being made in the national press with so little weight to it, that can cause so much harm to the people it talks about, you do worry about the fact that the next generation of professionals might believe it, and have the ideas generated by such stories in the back of their minds when working with autistic people.

The article claims that it is going to offer advice on how to help autistic people avoid being radicalised. This is apparently the justification for writing about such a topic. But in fact the article hardly says a word about how to stop this supposed problem. It simply makes a lot of wild claims, talks up the idea, and then ends. It is not as if this is a real documented problem and the article is there to provide help. In fact the article expressly states that there is no evidence for the claims that it makes and the research in to autism and radicalisation is `in it`s infancy`. Given that this is explicitly stated toward the begining of the article it seems even stranger that towards the end there is a call for all terrorist suspects to be assessed for autism. It is highly irresponsible to make a call for action as big as this while at the same admitting you have no hard evidence to back up the claims that this call for action is based on.

People with Autism Spectrum Disorder may be vulnerable to ISIS propaganda

  • Autistic people are more isolated and lonely and so may be easier to target
  • Their obsessive and compulsive tendencies could also put them at a higher risk
  • Findings suggest people involved with terrorism should be evaluated for ASD

    So if people with ASD could be at higher risk, how can we protect them from falling under the spell of terror organisations such as the so-called Islamic State?

I know this blog is a few days late in responding to the article, and some of you might feel that I should have ignored it instead of drawing more attention to it, but as I have tried to make clear I do not feel that the article is the whole of the problem. I feel it is part of a wider issue where autism is linked to violence, and autistic people are demonized. And once a group of people are demonized it changes the way society views them, and leaves them vulnerable to abuse and even physical attacks. Autistic people are misunderstood, and vulnerable enough as it is.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any help or advice abut Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

How Dyslexia impacts on my writing and my confidence.

Most of what I write on this blog tends to be about autism, but I wanted to take the time to talk a bit about my dyslexia, and how it impacts on my work. I have written about having dyslexia in the past, but to tell the truth it’s not something I think about all that often. I get so caught up with my autism, and how that impacts on my day to day life that I tend to forget that I am dyslexic and dyspraxic too. However, at times I cannot help but think about it. When I work I am keenly aware of my dyslexia, and how much it slows me down and frustrates me.

My work is my writing; I write blogs, and articles about autism and disability in general, and, as yet unpublished, short stories and novels. I have co-written and published two autism books as well as writing my own autism-related book, and had that published last year. Like everyone who writes I go through times in my life where it is hard to write, and where I don’t get much work done at all. But most days I write something, and that has been the case for over ten years now, and yet I can’t spell or hand-write. If I were to be tested I don’t know what level my spelling would be at, but I know it would be poor. There are very few words I can actually spell right first time, and when it comes to spelling out loud that number goes down even more. When I type most of the words I get right I do so without thinking; my fingers just hit the keys. If I had to tell you out loud how to spell half the words I do manage to get right, I would not have a clue.

It will be hard for a reader to fully understand quite how bad my spelling is; by the time you read this blog it will have been spell-checked and edited by my Mum, so most if not all of the spelling or grammar mistakes will be gone. I could publish a blog without any spell-check or editing for you to get a full idea of what I mean, but I don’t think you would be able to read it. A lot of the time the inbuilt spell-checker does not even know what I am trying to type. It changes the word to what it thinks it is meant to be; sometimes to a word that is so close to being right that I don’t even notice it`s wrong until someone points it out – other times to seemingly random words. When this happens I have to resort to googling a word (as Google seems to have more luck working out what I am trying to say) and pasting it in to whatever it is I am writing.

My spelling has always been poor, and I am sure anyone who is dyslexic knows that feeling of frustration when you try over and over again to spell a word without getting any closer. But there is an added level of frustration when it impacts on what I do for fun, and my work. I write at a much slower pace than I would if I did not have to worry about my spelling, but its more than that – it’s the lack of confidence in my own work. A lot of the time I do not even feel like I can put a tweet out there without having someone else check it first to make sure I haven`t spelt everything wrong. I can’t ever see myself feeling confident enough to write a blog and publish it without having my Mum, or someone else check it over first. When writing is what you do it can be unbelievably frustrating to know that you are reliant on someone else to make even the most basic of your work understandable. I am a published author, and yet I do not even feel confident to send out a tweet on my own. As for making notes or hand-writing anything, there is next to no point in me even trying to do this anymore. I cannot even read my own handwriting! I have to type and I can type quite fast, so things now are a lot better than they were a few years ago, but there is still this underlying feeling of frustration at my poor spelling.

I don’t want this blog to be full of self-pity, but I felt that I needed to point out how much extra work myself, and fellow dyslexic writers have to put in to get our work ready to be read. There is a part of me which thinks that even with some of the difficulties that come with my autism, it’s my dyslexia that gets me down the most. That’s what makes it hard for me to do what I love, and that’s a huge part of what makes me so reliant on other people when it comes to my work. And even though I have gotten so used to it I might not think of it much, it’s the effects of my dyslexia that keep impacting on me day to day.

I don’t have any practical advice to leave you with in this blog as it was intended more as a way for me to vent some frustration, and explain how hard writing these blogs can be. But I might try and put together a list of tips and things that have helped me over the years, as well as things I might try in the future, and post that at some point.

You can find my new book: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34253.html

If you need any more help or advice about Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

How Sensory Overload Impacts on Autistic People Part One – The Impact on my Mind.

It has been quite a while since I wrote a blog, and now that I am writing one it is about something that happened at the end of last month. Now part of that might be due to the fact that this month is December, and as I am sure most of you will know this can be a hard month for autistic people. It is all change, and routine and normal life can go somewhat out of the window. But we are still only in early December, and the bulk of why I have not been writing much, if anything, this month is to do with the events of November. The best thing for me to do is to explain what I did in November, and why that is still impacting on me now.

In November I went to three autism events. Twice as a speaker, and once just to man a stall selling copies of my new book. Now I should say before I go on that I enjoyed all three events, and was happy to go to them. Nothing in this blog is meant to be a comment on those events themselves. But it is worth looking at why I, and other autistic people, can find events like these so hard. And some of the particular after-effects that I have had to deal with.

 

  • Build up: I don’t feel nervous or worried about the events beforehand, or at least not that I am aware of. But I know the feelings must be there somewhere. I find it hard to focus on doing work or even doing something relaxing like watching a film if I know I am going to have to go to a busy event in the next few days. Even though I might not be aware of this build-up of stress and anxiety, it can take its toll.
  • Overload: Events such as the ones I went to, full of stalls and guest speakers, tend to draw quite a lot of people in. They are noisy, full of people moving around, and all in all very difficult places to spend much time in if you have sensory issues. Perhaps I must take my share of the blame for not going outside and having a break from time to time, but once I get started on something I find hard I like to just get it all done. If I take a break to go somewhere quiet there is a high risk that I might not be able to go back in, and get on with the work I need to do. So I end up spending anywhere from two to five hours in a busy, noisy, and overwhelming environment. Again this leads to a build-up of stress and anxiety.
  • One-on-one talking: When I am at an event, be it on a stall for ASK-PERGERS? or doing a talk, I end up with people chatting to me. Now this is a good thing: it gives me a chance to sell my book, and also to make contacts. Plus the whole point of what we do is to help other autistic people, or their families by giving advice, so a chance to talk is good. But it does take it out of me. It’s fair to say that in a normal month I might chat one-on-one with five people at most. Now this is partly due to me not being at university at the moment, and if I were it might be more. But five is about average for this year. But at an event like this I might talk one-on-one to fifteen people in the space of a few hours. If I do two or three events in a month it might be something like fifty people over the space of those events. All that one-on-one talking wears me out, and pushes me more and more in to overload.
  • Not much time to recover: If I do a few events in a month then I don’t have any real time to come down from one before I have to start planning for the next. It might take me a week or more to fully get back to normal after something like this, but of course I do not have that time if I have more events to go to.

So what does this all mean? Well it leads to a build-up of stress and anxiety that can only truly come out when I am done with all the events I have planned. Not that it does not affect me in-between events. It does. Last month I was so overloaded that I found it hard to do anything other than the events I went to. When I talk about that a lot of non-autistic people nod their head and say something like “Oh yes I will need to crash out for a bit too.” Or “I get tired as well.” They do not, nor could they fully understand what an overload is. If your lap top overheats and shuts down because it cannot cope with the overload to its system it can’t do anything. It just crashes and goes blank. And I find it to be very much the same for myself. If I am overloaded I can’t do anything, not even things that relax me. I can’t pick which film to watch, and in fact I don’t even want to watch anything. I can’t sit and read, or do anything else fun that might relax me. I spend most of the day just walking from room to room not knowing what to do, and doing nothing. It’s not a case of going “I am tired now, better just watch some TV then I will feel fine.” I might be unable to do anything, and I do mean anything, for days, or if it’s really bad even weeks. The truth is November was such a comparatively busy month for me that it took me quite a long time to come back from the overload. It’s really only this past week that I have been able to start doing things of any real worth, and like I say this is the first writing I have done this month.

I do want to do more work, and my hope is as I do it I will become more used to it, but also work out ways to minimize the impact of the overload. But I wanted to take the time to try and explain to you how even though I might be more than able to stand up on a stage for twenty minutes and do a talk, or man a stall for five hours, the unseen impact of this can last for days, or even weeks.

I also wanted to take the time to write about the physical impact the build-up of anxiety can have, but I feel that should be a full blog on its own. So that should be out later this week, or early next week.

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any more help or advice about Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

Twitter https://twitter.com/ASKPERGERS

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ASKPERGERS?ref=hl

And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762

Inspiration Porn – an autistic point of view

Autistic people, and disabled people as a whole are not here to inspire you. They do not live their lives so that it can be filmed, put to an uplifting sound track and posted on Facebook. Most of you should know this, and you might even be nodding along to this blog, but it’s amazing how many people fall in to the trap of re-posting what has become known as “Inspiration Porn”.  But what is Inspiration Porn?  And why is it an issue for disabled people?

First of all what is inspiration porn? From what I can find online Stella Young the comedian, journalist and disability rights activist was the first to use to term ”Inspiration Porn” back in 2012. It refers to stories where someone with a disability is called inspirational for doing normal, everyday things just because of their disability. Think of someone using a wheel chair being approached by a stranger in the street, and told they are an inspiration. Then imagine that same stranger takes a photo to tweet, or writes a post on Facebook about what an inspiration this disabled person is.

So why is this so bad? Well inspiration by its very definition means being inspired to do something, or to feel something. But mostly you would say you were inspired if you saw, read or heard something that then pushed you on to go and do something yourself. But the word inspiration in terms of inspiration porn is used in a very strange way. Think “Autistic person gets date to prom” what has that inspired anyone to do? Is it in terms of “Well if someone with autism can get a date why can’t I?” Just break it down and think for a second. What’s the inspiration here? Someone with a disability did something day-to-day. Not only is that a headline, but it’s going to go viral and become world news. If you’re non-disabled try and put yourself in that story. You wake up and go to the shops. When you get home from work that night you log on to twitter only to find out that someone noticed you out shopping, and was so inspired, so moved by watching you decide what flavour crisps you wanted that they just had to take a picture and tweet it out. In fact what you did was so fantastic that thousands of people re-tweeted it. Makes no sense right? Well run through the same story again only this time pretend you`re autistic, or you have one arm. It could be anything. Do you think you would be any less shocked or perplexed to see yourself all over twitter?

The bottom line here is that disabled people are just living their lives. Yes some things might be hard for them to do, and yes doing day-to-day stuff might feel like a big deal to some people. But that’s their life. They are not doing it to try and make other non-disabled people feel better about themselves. If you are disabled and you feel like you might never be able to do something, and then you see someone with the same disability as you doing it sure that might inspire you. But it would inspire you to do something, not just post about it online. The idea behind it seems to be that disabled people just sit in a room all day doing nothing. If they do anything outside of this it must be a huge deal, and worth taking time out of your day to admire. Disabled people are not here to act as inspiration, but what makes it even worse, in my eyes at least, is that people are not even inspired to do anything. It’s not as if the people who share these stories go out and do something – they just talk about it, post about it, and then forget about it. That is not on any level inspiration.

Also let’s think about how these stories and images tend to be played-out. More often than not it’s not even the disabled person who is given the headlines. It’s “Cheerleader asked boy with Downs Syndrome to prom” Or “Staff member helps man with autism in busy shop.” In other words “Girl asked boy out on date.” “Staff member does what they get paid to do.” But as soon as you bring disability in to it their acts are elevated to almost hero status. The girl did not ask any old boy to the prom, no she took it upon herself to ask the disabled boy. And that act should inspire you to …well I am not sure? And the staff member doing their job, nope, a hero because even though they are paid to deal with the public someone with autism is clearly outside of that right?

People share stories like this because they want to feel there is good in the world. Because they know how much bad stuff happens to disabled people and how hard life can sometimes be for everyone, disabled or not. But this is not the way to show how good the world can be. This is just showing people living their lives, or doing their jobs. It’s like saying “look at them, they`re disabled but they can still get out of bed, and live with themselves. Even like that. My life is not so bad. I should go to the gym tonight.”  Just try and think before you share something like this again. Think about what it is, and what the real point of it is. Think has it inspired you to do anything? And if so why? Because the truth is most, if not all, disabled people hate inspiration porn. We don’t want it, it gives us nothing, and yet it focuses on us. And all so someone else can feel happy for a few seconds when they hit share.

Stella Youngs TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_your_inspiration_thank_you_very_much?language=en

You can find my new book here: http://www.jkp.com/uk/communicating-better-with-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-34251.html

If you need any more help or advice about Asperger`s/Autism or simply want to talk about it check out our free help and advice service ASK-PERGERS?

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And have a look at our books (at the time published under pseudonyms, but we did write them trust us on that!)  http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/author/1762